The other side of sadness

The other side of sadness
A Short film by Marit van der Heijden
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funded project
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126%
€7.607
donated of €6.000
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Project Information

About the project
LOCKLINETHE OTHER SIDE OF SADNESS is a fiction film with documentary elements about the feeling of grief when losing a parent at a young age.

Sooner or later, we all have to deal with loss. Unfortunately, this happens faster for some than it does for others. Three years ago my father passed away, and the same goes for some of my friends. This makes us both lucky and unlucky as we are not alone in our experience.

In my graduation film, I'll be interviewing five of my friends on the feeling of grief after losing a parent at a young age. These interviews form a common thread in a fictional film about Anna.

S t o r y

Anna, 22, returns to her deceased father's house when it’s sold a year after his death. Once united with his belongings, both life and death are clearly present in his home. When Anna plays the music from her dad’s record player and loses herself for a moment, 24-year-old Joachim enters – the neighbour and a good friend of her dad. Joachim is a stranger to Anna, yet this is the first person with whom she can speak of her dad. He even reminds her of him and makes her realise he's spent times with her father that she can never get back. The different visions Anna and Joachim have on life, death and everything in between, remind her of the other side of sadness.

S t y l e

The style of the film will focus on Anna’s feelings. Grief shapes the way we experience reality in that moment. Estrangement, lost sense of time: life can suddenly feel surreal. One person might lose their way, another turns to survival mode and lives on adrenaline. When grieving, people often feel like they’re living in slow motion, that everything passes them by. At another moment they can feel overwhelmed by impulses. I can’t show how grief feels by definition, that’s not something I can say for others. But I can portray what it could feel like. I want to show that grief can be experienced in many different forms. The fact that it can be fragmented and confusing, that the world can feel completely different for a moment.

L o c a t i o n

This film is being shot in Arnhem, the place where I grew up. The loneliness, anonymity and beauty of grief return in the diversity of this town. Arnhem has the Veluwe, de river Rhine, hills, forest and industrial area. The change in surroundings symbolise the change in Anna’s mood.

V i s i o n

For many young adolescents one of the hardest things about grief is the fact that they don’t feel like they can talk about this with people their own age, who (luckily) haven’t had to deal with this yet. This can cause a feeling of loneliness and shame, it imposes a barrier to speak honestly about the feelings that come and go in a grieving process.

In general, people deal with loss much better than they'd expected. In fact, they are often more powerful and resilient than they would have thought themselves to be. In my opinion there’s also beauty in grief. People become stronger, more independent and it often even gives people a more positive outlook on life. Seeing grief as a process of steps, can give people the feeling that they are doing this in the wrong way. The fact that I got to share what was going on in my mind with my surroundings has helped me a lot.

It’s important that these feelings are shared so that people dealing with grief will therefore feel less alone and more comfortable to be open about their experience. With this film I hope to support people who have lost a parent as have I. Also, I hope to clear up the question that was often asked to me: "I can not imagine how you feel right now.”

Even though me and my friends have been through this at different ages and in different situations, there is a resemblance that we carry with us. There is recognition in the feelings that we share. This shared sense is something I find interesting, beautiful even and I want to make this tangible in this film.

C r e w

We’re working with a team of students and young professionals. This year we are cooperating to create this film in the best way possible. Unfortunately, this can’t be done without financial support: we need budget for our camera equipment, lighting, to dress the set, record music and offer a hot meal on set to the cast and crew.

With your help we can create something beautiful.
Will you help us to tell this story?

Thank you.

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Quote that inspired the maker

Grief is tolerable only because it comes and goes in oscillation. We move back and forth emotionally. We focus on the pain of the loss, it’s implications, it’s meanings, and then our minds swing back toward the immediate world, other people, and what is going on in the present. We can’t reflect on the reality of loss and engage with the world around us at the same time. We temporarily lighten up and reconnect with those around us. Then we dive back down to continue the process of mourning.
George A. Bonanno
This project was successfully funded on 12-04-2017

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